Fake it till you make it. 

I want to tell you, but I couldn't bring myself to get the words out.

I know how you would look, and what you would say.

You will tell me that if this is what I really wanted, you would let me go.

I wonder if you would try to make me stay? Or at least put up a fight?

Would you fight to have me back?

Dreams and Decisions

I have to admit, I'm pretty fickle-minded when it comes to decisions. After I made a conscious choice, I'd like to think that I have no regrets, knowing that I've weighed upon my choices for a good few days. And I would work on sustaining myself upon the choice I have made.

But I have also spent a considerable amount of time pondering upon my other option. I don't do it in a comparison manner against my chosen option, but I like to think about how it would be in another universe.

Universe. Does this word not invoke an amazement of greatness, and the consciousness of smallness of our very own being? Every time I lapse into my parallel universe, the epiphany of this greatness never fails to overwhelm me.

I think a lot. In fact, I think I spend most of my time inside my own head, playing out scenes from the past, relating conversations I have in real time to short snaps of phrases I have gathered over twenty-one years of my life. The beauty of it all falls in how I can't seem to conjure up certain memories when I want to, but yet they nudge against my consciousness at the most random times.

That's the beauty of it all. The beauty of being conscious.

I want to be free

I dream of how I could speak so fluently that I no longer stutter.

I dream of the day I will no longer need to cower and hide when I meet the people I do not wish to encounter.

I dream of the day where I spend lavishly without the guilt later on, simply because I can afford to.

I dream of how beautiful I will be, that I can simply prove how pathetic your expectations of me by making you devour the way I am dressed, the way I speak and the amazing experiences I have had without you in my life.

I want you to eat up your words which you have used to torment me for all these years. I want you to drown in the sight of my success.

PopCulture @ The School, Jaya One

Got a tip from Denice that there is going to be a fashion bazaar this Saturday and Sunday so I went with her and Careen ! It's my first time going for a fashion bazaar and this time's PopCulture @ The School, Jaya One.

We found Jaya One using Waze (none of us know where that place is lolol) and stupid Waze took us for a little detour around Sunway Pyramid. What's more we're in hurry of time because all of us want to get the goodie bag limited to 100 pax only LOL #auntie

But we made it ! Fifteen minutes before 10 am which is the supposed opening time but when we got there, most stalls are still being set up and it officially opened around 10.15 am. #malaysiantiming So much for us worrying about not being early enough for the goodie bag HAHAHA.

Booths at PopCulture offer items (clothes, shoes, bags and misc accessories) usually sold online. I think that it's a great opportunity for potential customers to have a closer look at an item's quality and size cause the items might deviate from how it looks like Instagram accounts or blogshop sites. Some booths also offer pre-loved items priced extremely low - I got a Massimo Dutti top for RM 12. Great quality, design and no defects! I've also seen another girl extremely happy with a branded cap she got away with - smiles for everyone!

Went over to Bash's booth because that's where all the girls crowded at - guess Bash's founders are really efficient in marketing! Their stuff are one of the less expensive options there without forgoing style and quality. Follow their Instagram: @bashclothing

Mint floral top by Bash; floral button-down by Massimo Dutti. 

Also shown in the photo are goodie bag items such as haircare products and eye masks. 

Got only two tops but not a bad experience I'd say, but a tip if you're a first-time visitor like me though - go with friends! It's way funner and you can always use extra advice when it comes to shopping.

Looking forward for the next bazaar!

If you see me blogging it's mostly because I'm pretty damn bored. In today's case, I have no one to talk to (Andrew, whom I can spend the whole day talking to, is not around) and I can't stream movies to watch or else my brother will kill me, especially when he's having this mini sleepover with his friends and he's hogging the entire wifi by playing his stupid games.

To cure boredom I decided to play BioShock but it's taking a freaking long time to install. Ughhh.

So since I have nothing to do now, although I have work tomorrow and I should probably sleep early, I shall blog about my day !

Went to Publika for the first time in my life with my family today. Publika is sooo beautiful. And artsy. I can literally feel the artistic vibes and appreciation oozing out of the place. Plus, so many eateries and bars! I can totally imagine the crowd and atmosphere at night.

Ate at Publika's food court and damn, that was the nicest food court I've been to LOL. I had KinKin pan mee but it wasn't very good! Still preferred Super Kitchen's. We went to the famous Red Bean Bag cafe later and had some tea.

Bella and the Jets

Ordered it because their recommended Eggs Benedict is sold out.

Sounds like a band name but it is quite good! 

I honestly don't like coffee. Ughh, I don't know how people stomach it. It's bitter, sour, and it's hard to swallow. I may work in a cafe, but I really don't like coffee :X

Till next time !

I haven't posted in quite a while.

Despite me having a million things to do after the IB, I've crossed out pretty much everything on my to-do list which I have compiled during the nights I spent studying in Fairview.

So, rather than rotting myself away at home, I decided to get a job. Two jobs, in fact. On weekdays I work as an assistant tuition teacher and on weekends I work at a café. Most people looked at me like I'm crazy when I told them that with common responds like: what, you have no day offs?

I don't ! And I don't actually mind lol. I only work for maximum six hours on weekends so I still get to spend half a day on stuff I like to do. It's the weekday job that's tiring me out. But kids there are really adorable! I teach primary school kids by the way. My job is mostly to monitor the kids' progress on their homework, which is usually a tonne of them considering that they're mostly from chinese primary schools. They're actually really obedient and they never really retaliate to what I asked them to do! Don't know if I was like that too last time or I was a pure rebel lol I just remembered that I got caned quite constantly when I was in Standard 3.

But the way the kids come up to you to ask your for help on their homework - it's pure cuteness! I always like not giving them answers right away but rather break the question down for them to figure it out themselves, and when they do, they'll give you this awkward, oh-that's-how-it-is smile which makes everything so worth it.

It's tiring nonetheless. Requires quite a lot of patience to make kids understand what they're supposed to do. I have to talk so much to the point where my lips actually cracked and started bleeding in the first week on my job.

If you're curious on where I worked at during weekends, the answer is: Brew & Bread @ Kota Kemuning! Come and visit no discounts guaranteed lol. Maybe I'll feel extra nice that day and I'll give you an extra smile  haha.